Extramarital Affairs

Nothing But Misery & Trouble

(Draft -- You are looking at an early draft of this topic. It has not yet been proofed, and it will now doubt be massaged many times over for context, grammar, and clarity)

It is about as simple as that. Nothing good comes cheating. Everyone who cheats on their spouse is sooner or later caught. Families are hurt, business focus is greatly reduced, and your personal integrity will forever be damaged in the eyes of many who know you – including the person you had the affair with. What kind of permanent relationship could the two of you have, after both knowing how much one or both of you could be trusted? You are living a lie and that is no way to go through life. If you cannot be loyal to your own family – then who can trust you?

Bad marriages are better ended sooner rather than later. If you are certain that you and your spouse have a terrible marriage, do everyone a big favor and end it quickly. You will never become successful if you are miserable because of your marriage, or because you have a spouse that will not support your quest for success. Your spouse is most likely unhappy, your friends are most likely unhappy, and your children are most likely unhappy. Suck it up and pay the price now, as it will not get any cheaper or easier once you have achieved success. Do it amicably and take care of your kids throughout your upward path. The younger you are when you are certain that your marriage is hopeless, the better chance everyone has to move on and find a compatible person that they love and want to spend their life with.

However, do not end your marriage without first giving your best effort to try and fix it. Most all marriages from time to time are troubled and love is questioned. Many of those who worked through it quickly have gone on to have decades of happiness with each other. Do not end your marriage because you are in love with someone else. Get out of that relationship now and deal with the marriage. Relationships with the “other woman” or the “other man” have very little chance to ever become a permanent relationship.

While “Quitters” are not successful – there is a difference between being a quitter and knowing when you have made a big mistake.  The best way to deal with a mistake is to admit you've made it, deal with fixing it, and then move on. Be honest and tell your spouse that you want to achieve great success, and that you know it cannot be done with a spouse who will stand in the way of that success. Give the spouse the opportunity to quickly understand your position and adapt to it by standing behind you on that road to success – or to agree that it will not work so you both can move on.

See the section on “The Support of Your Spouse” for more on my thoughts about success and your spouse.