Used Car Terms

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A Diamond in the Rough: Lots of flaws.

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Apart For Restoration: Missing its rarest and most expensive parts.

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All-Original Parts: Everything is worn out.

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Arizona Car: Bleached paint, dried out weather-stripping, faded upholstery, and cracked dash top.

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Best Offer: A car that’s been for sale since Moby Dick was a guppy.

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Cream Puff: A tan car that smokes.

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Dealer Maintained: Dealer boned them — so now they want to bone you.

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Driven Daily: and beaten to death.

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Firm: Don’t really want to sell.

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Flawless: Seller is legally blind.

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Getting Married: and will never have a fun car again.

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Good For Restoration: Junk yard wouldn’t take it.

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Going Abroad: Sold last POS car to a mob member.

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Great on Gas: One barrel carb.

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High Mileage: Drive train shot.

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Illness Forces Sale: Got sick when found out how much it would cost to fix.

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Just Inspected: (and you will be as shocked as I was that it passed)

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Leave Message: Being stalked by past buyers he has sold to.

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Limited Edition: Car Maker desperate to sell this model.

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Little Old Lady Driven: Engine internals carbon encrusted from never being revved to over 1,500 RPM.

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Looks Great: When viewed under sodium lights at midnight in a storm.

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Low Miles: Broke down many years ago.

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Many Extras: Radio, seat and windows included.

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Minor Rust: No trunk or floor pans.

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Mint condition: Untouched by children.

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Needs Battery: Has a bad alternator or a mystery short circuit.

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Needs Engine: See high mileage.

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Needs Head Gasket: Driven across desert with a clogged radiator.

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Needs TLC: about $5,000 to 10,000 ought to cover the repairs.

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Never Seen Rain: A lemon the dealer would take back.

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New Interior: Aftermarket Sunroof.

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New Paint: Recent accident.

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New Radio: and windows.

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New Springs: Driven by a man drinking Slimfast

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New Wheel Bearings: Driven by short old lady that keeps hitting curbs.

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No Title: Stolen.

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One of a Kind: Purple car with orange interior.

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Original Owner: Now in nursing home.

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Pace Car: Manufacturer couldn’t sell them without first putting decals on it.

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Parts Car Included: Replacement parts impossible to find.

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Quick Sale: IRS is about to foreclose on all assets.

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Rebuildable: Good Title

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Runs Strong: if you can get it started.

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Small Dent: You’ll need a replacement 1/4 panel.

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Solid Body: Rust though on the frame rails.

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Tinted Windows: Owner likes to smoke pot while driving.

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Too Many Cars: This is the worst of them.

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Two New Front Tires: Needs Front-End alignment.

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Two New Rear Tires: Punk kid by the name of Andy like to do burnouts.

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Two-Tone Paint: Painter couldn’t properly match.

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Very Rare: 1 of 320,768

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Wife Forces Sale: Husband caught in the bed of another woman

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Will Deliver: Desperate

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Will Trade: Desperate and needs another car or truck.