Just when you thought you’ve seen everything . . . . . and yes, this is a regular funeral home.
So, you thought you’d seen it all, eh?!
THE MEMORIAL STONE
Billy died . . . . His will provided $30,000 for this elaborate funeral.As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her oldest and dearest friend, Jonelle. “Well, I’m sure Billy would be pleased,” she said.“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Jonelle, wholowered her voice and leaned in close. “How much did this really cost?”
“All of it,” said Joyce .. “Thirty thousand dollars.”
“No!” Jonelle exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?”
Joyce answered, “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The whiskey, wine, food and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.”
Jonelle quickly computed the total of $7,500 and said “$22,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?”
Joyce answered, “Two and a half carats!”
Osama’s Last Will and Testament
The Dave Duell Classic
The Best Nostalgia Super Stock Racing Event
Bowling Green, Kentucky – August 5-7, 2011
Beech Bend Raceway
The Nostalgia Super Stock movement has long been an NMCA favorite, transporting fans back to the glory days of ’60s muscle car drag racing. New for 2011, the Dave Duell Classic, the largest Nostalgia Super Stock event in the U.S., will take place at the NMCA Muscle Car Nationals at Beech Bend Raceway. Watch as upwards of 100 of the coolest Nostalgia Super Stock racers converge on Bowling Green in honor of Dave Duell, an instrumental racer and ambassador to the Nostalgia Super Stock movement across the country.
The web site with current press releases, driver’s swag listing, previous DDC results, and photos can be found at www.DaveDuellClassic.com.
1-minute event video with the Texas Whale doing a burnout, Vitamin C launching, and Dallas getting his trophy for winning the 7.0 Index.
Osama Sends Us a Message From Hell
An Open Invitation to Join Us on the Forums At www.Oldhippie.com
For eight years the forums on the Old Hippie web site has been the place to discuss just about everything under the sun. The below is a listing of the forums you will find over there:
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Participate in the forums that interest you — and avoid the forums that do not. Any board that has a collection of forums to cover any type of conversation, is going to have forums that will interest you — and forums that will not interest you. For instance, the political forum is one of the more popular forums — but if your interest is drag racing and not politics — judge the board on the forums that interest you and not the forums that do not. Each individual forum stands on its own merit — and will benefit with increased participation.
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Recipe from the “Old Hippie Cookbook Forum”: www.oldhippie.com/forums/cookbook/
When I was a kid — we lived in San Marcos, TX where we had a huge pecan tree in the front yard. Everyday we kids would go and pick up the dropped pecans for my ma to use in cooking.
We were pretty poor and didn’t eat real well — but Sunday morning was the best meal of the week. After returning from St. John’s — my Dad would fry a pound of bacon and cook a dozen fried eggs in the grease while we kids would make a loaf (they were shorter then) of toast from “Day Old” bread (10 cents a loaf for day old compared to 12 cents for fresh), and occasionally a loaf of raisin toast. Occasionally my mother would make Cariocas — which was a WWI invention my Grandfather from Venezuela started as a tradition. I need to do a recipe for that some day.
About once a month, we would replace the toast and eggs on Sunday breakfast with my mother making Pecan Cinnamon rolls — starting the night before.
She would start the night before with making the bread dough — but today we can buy frozen bread dough — making the job a lot easier. Here’s how I do it a couple of times a year for my family. It makes two cookie sheets worth (about 24 good size rolls total).
Start the day before
- Buy three loafs of frozen bread dough and let thaw and rise in a huge plastic bowl that was wiped with a paper towel soaked in vegetable oil — to keep the dough from sticking to the bowl. This takes about 6 hours at room temperature.
- Once the dough as thawed and risen a little, plop onto a clean and floured counter and cut in half. This process takes about an hour, so I start about an hour before bed time for all of the timing to work out for the best size and freshest tasting.
- Pound/kneed the dough and shape each half into a pair of rectangles about 18″ long by 6″ wide 1/4 thick.
- Spread a layer of dark brown sugar on each.
- Shake a liberal (man I hate that word) amount of ground cinnamon on top of the brown sugar.
- Spread a layer of chopped pecans
- Half of us love raisins, and half do not — so on one I sprinkle raisins
- Tightly roll into a long roll, and cut into 12 slices per roll. Carefully arrange slices on a greased (I spray with Pam — but my mother would use a stick of butter — mmmmmm) 4 rows by 3 rows spaced to allow for them to triple in size (just touching each other) when they rise overnight. Spray the tops with Pam (to keep plastic wrap from sticking) and lay a piece of Saran Wrap in top to keep moist (and slightly slow down the rate they rise) while the rolls rise.
- Let them rise overnight (about 6-7 hours), and in the morning remove the plastic wrap off the top, and bake in a preheated oven at 325 degrees for about 12-15 minutes. The key is for them to get golden brown on top — so watch through the oven glass at about 10 minutes as you don’t want to under or over bake. They will burn quickly after turning golden brown so be careful.
- Spread a frosting made of powder sugar and water once they’ve cooled enough melt the frosting evenly — but not too hot to where the frosting melts to clear. Optionally (my mother did this) chop a jar of Maraschino cherries and mix it and the syrup of the car into the frosting.
Damn — just writing this has me Jonesing!
Not a very smart group of people.
Vietnam – The Real Story
May 1, 2011
The sad part about history – is that is it is almost always rewritten to fit the political agenda of those who write the history books, teach the rewritten history, create the TV documentaries, and produce the Hollywood movies. Case in point is the lie that our young, our apathetic, and our ignorant people today understand as the Vietnam War.
Just ask anyone – Vietnam was a quagmire created by Nixon, and a war Americans didn’t want to be in. The majority of loyal Americans like Jane Fonda protested the war, and according to John Kerry – our young men were just a pack of baby killers. Fact is that only about 20% of America (mostly college students brainwashed by their Marxist professors) were against the US involvement in Vietnam until Nixon was elected, and the majority of people under 35 actually supported US involvement.
How do I know? Because I was a teenager during that time. I’ve always made it a point of being aware of current events (even as a young man) – and I’ve always been a student of history. As a paperboy delivering the Newark News in 1967, I was collecting for that week’s delivery of a customer. My knock was answered by a man who was crying – and his wife was also sobbing in the background. He told me that they just learned they’d lost their son in Vietnam – and asked if I would come back later. I remember the halls of my high school as a shrine of previous years’ graduating classes – who had died in Vietnam. Yes, I was aware of what was going on at the time – and it was a frequent conversation among my friends. While some of my friends were swayed by songs like Sky Pilot (although “Knights in White Satin” was popular when I was serving), most supported the intent of our involvement.
The problem wasn’t the war – but who we trusted to manage it. To understand the truth of Vietnam that you will never learn from a Liberal teacher – you have to go back to the beginning.
Vietnam really started with the Bay of Pigs. In a nutshell, the Bay of Pigs was JFK promising Cuban Freedom Fighters that he’d give them the air cover they needed to take Cuba back from Castro. At the last minute (when the Cubans were in place) Kennedy got cold feet and cancelled the air support. The Freedom fighters were left unprotected and were massacred. Those who were not killed were tortured, and most of them died in Cuban prisons. The Soviet Union sensing weakness in America’s leadership had this lead up to the “Cuban Missile Crisis”. Now history reports that Kennedy stood up to the Soviet Union and WWIII was averted by his brave actions – but in reality it was a crisis caused by JFK’s weakness – and wouldn’t have occurred if Nixon had been elected President. The negotiations to advert war included the US having to remove missiles from Turkey, which is a little piece of information that rewritten history forgets. Yes, the USSR actually won that battle.
So when Red China backed Ho Chi Minh (who Liberals then liked to refer to as “Vietnam’s George Washington” – before we started to teach our children that Washington was just a rich old white slave master) and North Vietnam’s attack on the French colony of South Vietnam – JFK saw this as an excellent opportunity to show America that he really wasn’t weak when it came to standing up to Communists. He decided to involve the US in Vietnam. However, it is never wise to get involved in a war if the Democrats are in charge. They’re always eager to jump in for the weakest of reasons – but will never dedicate the sufficient force required to win. They’re afraid that doing so will have the French call us cowboys and bullies.
And so it was with Vietnam. JFK would not bomb were the bombing was required, and American blood was shed because of it. It would have appeared that JFK was more preoccupied with getting a hummer from Marilyn Monroe, than he was with the war, and so there was no direction given to the Military leaders. Actually, his biggest contribution to the war — was to direct the CIA to kill the Premier/President of South Vietnam, as he thought him to be disagreeable.
As bad as JFK was, LBJ was far worse. When Johnson inherited the war following JFK’s assignation, we jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. As a typical Democrat war hero, LBJ had taken a 12-minute flight as an observer during WWII — and was awarded the Silver Star – despite the aircraft never being under fire. He was the only one on the aircraft to ask for and receive a medal. Just like Al Gore’s lies of being in firefights when in actuality he was a reporter for Stars & Stripes (and had a body guard assigned to him, and like Kerry was sent home early because of cowardice) in Saigon; and John Kerry’s medals (for a paper cut, a sliver, and a kernel of rice embedded in his ass from a hand grenade going off in a barrel of rice while goofing around) – LBJ’s lies got bigger and bigger – and he was exposed. His Silver Star was jokingly referred to as “The least deserved, and most displayed Silver Cross in Military History”.
Upon becoming President, LBJ was told that the war was winnable – but only with overwhelming force. He put the draft in full swing, and so the overwhelming force was available, but LBJ micromanaged the war from the Oval Office to prove his military brilliance – much as Hitler micromanaged Germany’s loss from the Wolf’s Lair. While LBJ had no problems with sending thousands of boys into the unfamiliar Jungles to defend against supplies coming down the Ho Chi Minh trail to the Viet Cong, – he was unwilling to take the offensive and bomb the north, or mine Hanoi Harbor. Johnson’s lack of leadership with the war caused him to have to pull out of running for re-election, after getting his ass kicked in the first State Primary.
Nixon became the next President – and here’s where history really gets a good rewriting. The reason that it has been rewritten is because Nixon was a conservative who hated Communists, and reporters and writers educated in the NYC region Communist training camp at Columbia; or Harvard’s Soviet educated professors teaching at Berkley, Kent, and other Liberal college; or Communist infiltrated Hollywood – will only tell the anti-American version they want told. We are told to hate Nixon for his attempt to cover up – but not Clinton or Obama for their cover ups. Liberals own the Newspapers and book publishers; are the movie producers and Union teachers – and are the ignorant (only knowing what the Union Leaders tell them) Union robots sliding washers on bolts. So this is how history becomes both rewritten with double standards applied to it. The then NY Time Publisher once asked his college student son (who is now the NY Time publisher) if there was choice of and American Soldier of a North Vietnamese soldier being killed – who would he rather see dead? His answer was the American, as we were in his country. That technically wasn’t true, as the North Vietnamese were attackers of South Vietnam. But I digress!
In 1968, Nixon takes over and dramatically reduces the ground forces immediately, while at the same time increasing the bombing. We finally had the North on the ropes (much to the dismay of Liberals) and the Paris Peace Talks began. Despite John Kerry (who was still in uniform) committing the treasonous act of secretly meeting with the enemy in Paris – we had the upper hand. I vividly remember that day in January 1973, when the Paris Peace Accords was announced. I was a 17-year-old E1 (No-Striper) in the Air Force. All of us GIs were as happy as a clam – as we’d finally won a long war that had claimed so many of our friends. The terms of the Paris Peace Accords had the war end with the borders being as they were before the North attacked the South. The US would pull out – but the treaty specified that we were coming back, mining Hanoi Harbor, and bombing them – should the North ever cross back into the South again.
However, Democrats always manage to wrest the defeat from jaws of victory – as Ann Coulter likes to put it. In that tradition, the Democrat congress got so busy dropping everything to investigate a couple of Mexican plumbers putting a bug in a Democrat campaign office that they never took up ratifying the Paris Peace Accords. Years passed, and Communists again sensing weakness from Democrats (and having the American press doing their dirty work for them) attacked the South. Nixon had the world against him, and we could do nothing more than fly off those on the Embassy roof, before Saigon became Ho Chi Minh City.
So that is the “Reader’s Digest” version of what happened in Vietnam. Now you will know what really happened the next time some idiot repeats the Liberal Mantra of Vietnam being a quagmire. It was a quagmire – but that was the complete fault of the Liberals, who should never be trusted with the military. Doing so will give the outcome we had in JFK’s/LBJ’s Vietnam. Remember, that we had a weak coward of a President by the name of Jimmy Carter having Americans and America held hostage for 444 days, by a gang of idiots in a puissant country. We could have wiped them out in minutes – and there never would been a Hamas, Hezbollah, or the Muslim brotherhood today. Libya and Syria would have never considered jacking with us. However, we instead had a weak President sit back with our people prisoners – and let them get stronger and more confident. Minutes after Reagan was elected, Iran released the hostages. Why? Because they knew they were no longer dealing with a coward, but were fixing to get their asses kicked!
Likewise if JFK’s fraudulent (with the buying of Chicago) election had never occurred, and had Nixon been in the White House — there would never been a Bay of Pigs, never would have been a Cuban Missile Crisis, and never would have been a quagmire in Viet Nam. Remember this as we currently have a weak President playing around with the lives of American soldiers. This is a man who wouldn’t meet with his own generals, and has no real Middle East strategy. Democrats are unprepared to be Commander and Chief. We will not win with a weak leader.
Don’t believe me – check my version of what happened out. However be careful of your sources. The Liberals have a firm hold of media, teachers, and textbooks. Consider your sources as you read.
There is a discussion on this topic at: http://www.oldhippie.com/forums/us-military-forum-premium/17887-vietnam-real-story.html
PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING
You may have heard on the news about a southern California man that was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation, when it was found that he owned 100 guns and allegedly had (by rough estimate) 1 million rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.
My favorite quote from the dimwit television reporter, “Wow! He has about a million machine gun bullets.” The headline referred to it as a “massive weapons cache.” BTW, I am dubious about the pile of ammunition boxes and cans that they showed. It looked big enough to contain no more than about 100,000 rounds, unless there was a lot of .22 rimfire ammo.
However, by southern California standards, even someone owning 100,000 rounds would be called, “mentally unstable.”
Just imagine if he lived elsewhere:
In Arizona, he’d be called, “an avid gun collector.”
In Texas, he’d be called, “a novice gun collector.”
In Utah, he’d be called, “moderately well prepared,” but they’d probably reserve judgment, until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.
In Wyoming, he’d be called, “The neighborhood ‘Go-To’ guy.”
In Alaska, he’d be called, “a free, independent & a subsistence user.”
In Idaho, he’d be called, “a likely gubernatorial candidate.”
And, in Montana, he’d be called, “an eligible bachelor.”
Some Days You’re The Bug – Some Days The Windshield!
Points Update After 2nd of 7 Races
Vitamin C Wins Brandt Nationals
After a 7-year adventure, the Texas Whale was recently finished, and I've been looking for a local event to take it for Test 'n Tune to identify and fix teething issues.
Last Thursday, Dallas tells me that the 2nd Annual Brandt Nationals was going to be held at Lonestar in Sealy on Saturday. The Brandt Nationals is charity Race and Show, benefitting a local organization funding sporting events for kids with Down's Syndrome. We were told that there would be Test and Tune from 10AM to 2PM — and then racing with Indexes of 6.5, 7.0, 7.5, and 8.0. I didn't want to run the Whale in the Index races (which are mostly full electronics/trans brake cars) as I was just wanting to make easy low RPM passes to breaking the motor and make sure I had brakes (I didn't have good enough and need to change the MC), and that nothing fell off. Dallas' black Coronet was too fast for the Indexes, and for that track, but the Demon he ran from 2004 to 2009 and the Vitamin C car can easily be dialed into 7.0 cars, with a little manipulation of added weight. Dallas had never raced the Vitamin C (I run it in NMCA's Points Series), and has always been dead nuts on with the Demon — but the belts had expired on the Demon (which is For Sale) — so he decided to try the Vitamin C.
We arrived at the track at 11:30. They'd changed the schedule — and were starting Qualifying. I made a pair of qualifying runs in the Whale, and all was well except that the brakes weren't doing their job (Master Cylinder too small), plus I pissed off the track by making a full 1/4 mile pass (they'd only prepped for an 1/8) and going too fast — so we trailered the wagon satisfied that it would be ready for the race in Dallas 5/14.
Our cars are set up to run Nostalgia Super Stock and our rules do not allow trans-brakes, electronics, no air-shifters, and we run on skinny 10.5W slicks. We also run a Sportsman Tree — and frankly neither of us have ever run a Pro-Tree in competition. The cars in Dallas' index were mostly fat slick, trans-brake, electronics cars with delay boxes — and the Tree was a Pro-Tree. It put Dallas at a big disadvantage. We slow the cars down to the index by adding and subtracting loose weight in the weight box (and permanent weight bolted to the frame) as opposed to setting a delay in a delay box. We first unbolted 150 pounds from the frame — as Dallas weighs 150 pounds less than me. We then adjusted the loose weight in the weight box in 10 pound increments to have the car run as close to 7.01 as we could. All rounds were 7.018 to 7.042.
In the first round, Dallas treed a pretty blue 65 Plymouth. They both ran a 7.03 but Dallas had a better reaction time.
In the second round — Dallas again had a reaction time win over a very strange electric car. Yup, a 7.0 Pontiac Fiero with batteries in the trunk instead of a motor. It was built by an electrical engineer.
The Semi-Final round had him bettering a Nova, and the Final round had him bettering a Trans AM. He did an excellent job, especially considering the disadvantage of a strange (to him) car, a Pro-Tree, and no electronics (his footbraking against their transbrakes). He won a 4' trophy and a 5-day trip to Cancun.
Turn Off Geo-Tagging on Your Phone
If you have an iPhone or Blackberry, the photos you are Geo-Tagged by default. That’s to say photos of your kids, cars you list for sale, jewelry on you wife, your motorcycle …. tells the criminals exactly where they can find them with GPS coordinates.
The good news is that you can turn Geo-Tagging off. On the iPhone go to settings, and then to locations. You can turn all locations off — but in my case I travel cross country for races and need to find the closest Walmarts to park the 80′ rig for the night, or have the track’s weather — so I just turn it off for my camera and Facebook.
Now is the time to changed the settings on all the phones for your entire family, or sent this post to them. There’s a link at the bottom of this post to share on Facebook.
The skunk has replaced the eagle as the symbol of the American Presidency….
Half black – half white, kinda cute, appears to be harmless, yet everything it does really stinks!