THE LAWNMOWER & THE SECURITY FENCE
We have the standard 6 foot fence in our backyard, and after hearing about numerous, recent, burglaries in our neighborhood, I decided to try & prevent my wife & I, from becoming just "another statistic",……..So,…….I had the following brainwave………
I purchased an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of our fence. In fact,…I actually got the biggest cattle charger, our local Tractor Supply Store had in stock. It was designed for 26 miles of fencing. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod, I was told, is apparently *the key*, as the more you have in the ground, the better the fence is supposed to work.
So,….last week, I was mowing the grass in our back yard, with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower, when I noticed the darn hot wire was broken and laying out in the yard. As I was SURE, I had unplugged the charger, before I went outside, I just pushed the mower around the wire, then reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. Turns out, however,…..that I apparently had NOT, remembered to unplug the charger, after all !!!!!!…….
So,…..there I stood,….the lawnmower running in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. (now keep in mind, the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover).
Well,……..time stood still………. The first thing I noticed was my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body….. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain……… Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally "at one", with the dang lawnmower engine !!!
It seems as though the fence charger and that piece of crap lawnmower, were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.
Now,….although science says,…………you cannot crap, pee, and vomit, all at the same time, I beg to differ………….Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied three different times, in less than half of a second !!!……. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants three times. It seemed like there were minutes in between, but in reality, it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand !!!
At this point, I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire,…. palm side down, so I couldn't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences…..but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled……
This one I could not let go of !! The 8 foot long ground rod, was now accepting signals from me, through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point, I am thinking I am going to have to just man-up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas……… "Oh, Damn!!",…… I thought,……..as I remembered I just filled the dang tank !!……..
Now,.. the lawnmower was starting to run rough. It had settled into a loping run pattern, as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and vomit on my chest, I am thinking: "Oh God,… please just let it die… pleeeease…." But oh nooooo,……….it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle very nicely and remained there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot……..
So there I stood, in the middle of June, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to just kill me…..
Well,…….God did not take me that day…..he left me there, covered in my own fluids, to writhe in the misery, my own stupidity had created !!!
I honestly don't know *how*, I got loose from the wire……I woke up, laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume, I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.
Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep, I realized a few things:
1. Three of my teeth seemed to have kinda melted.
2. I had cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek,…(not the left one, just the right)
3. Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not actually smell as bad as one might think….
4. My left eye would not open…..
5. My right eye would not close…….
6. The lawnmower is now running perfectly…..seriously !!…I think our little session, must have cleared out some carbon or something, because it ran better than when it was new after that !!
7. My testicles are still smaller than average, but are now almost a foot long…….
8. I can turn on the TV in the game room, by farting while thinking of the number 4 …( I still don't understand this???)
Yes,…….that day changed my life forever….I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always *triple-check* to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow the grass.
The good news is,.. that if a burglar *does* try to come over the fence, I can clearly truly visualize, what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me, to triple check before I mow the grass !!!!..
The Essence of Freedom is the Proper Limitation of Government.
The Founding Father's Created a Republic — Not a Democracy
Dave Schultz – 6/11/2010
The Roman Empire began (as did the USA) and became great as a Republic – which means Ruled By Law. They then morphed (as did we) into a Democracy – which means Ruled By Majority. They ultimately became a Oligarchy (which means Ruled By An Elite Group) under Caesar, Nero, Caligula and their Congress — by giving them too much of the power the People had as a Republic.
We have done the same with the power we've freely given away to the Presidency, Congress, and the Supreme Court. This started years ago, and has progressed at an ever quicker pace. In the beginning the Federal Government was specifically limited by our Founding Fathers from having these powers they've taken from us under the guise of "protecting us". The founding Fathers knew of the dangers of a Democracy always morphing into a Oligarcy. Our Freedoms have decreased dramatically and government is free to tax whatever they want, from whom they want — and spend it on whatever they want. We have no say in taxes or spending. We are moving towards a Cast System where the Government are the Lords and we the people are the serfs, working for the Government's pleasure.
There is a very big Difference between the Republic our Founders gave us — and the Democracy rewritten history makes us think they gave us. Please invest ten minutes of your life to watch the below video to learn about the different types of government, and their flaws. You care enough for ten minutes don't you? I'll bet you think you know all of this already, but I will bet that at the end of the video you will admit you learned something very valuable — that was not taught to you in High School Government or History.
Please watch this very interesting History/Government lesson and pass it along. I promise you it is factual and non-partisan.
My daughter’s teacher asked the class what their favorite animal is, and my daughter said, “Fried chicken.” Her teacher said she wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right as everyone else in the class laughed.
We’ve told our daughter to always be truthful and honest, and she is. Fried chicken is her favorite animal. She told me what happened, and I said her teacher was probably a member of PETA. I said they love animals too much to eat. She love animals too, especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, her teacher sent her to the principal’s office. She told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told her not to do it again.
The next day in class her teacher asked my daughter what her favorite live animal was. She told her it was chicken. When asked why, my daughter told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent my daughter back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told her not to do it again.
She didn’t understand. We taught her to be honest, but her teacher doesn’t like it when she is. Today, her teacher asked my daughter to tell her what famous person she admires most.
She told her, “Colonel Sanders”.
Guess where she is now…
Color change on the Harley Heritage
The above is my 1994 Harley Heritage — that I bought new in 1993. Then, the waiting list was years — so you took what ever color you got — plus $10,000 of ginger bread you didn’t want. After 17 years — I thought it was time to change the color to what I would have ordered. Actually — I wanted more of a 57 Thunderbird turquoise and white — but for some reason when I picked the paint up it was too "Robin’s Egg Blue" I had them add green three times before I settled on the below — before the color got too screwed up. The paint was color sanded today and I’ll take to the artist tomorrow for the tank art and blood red pin-stripe between the blue and white.
I’m planning on the below for the tank art
It’s The A-100’s Turn
For a restoration
Now with the paint being stripped.
Patch panel needing fixed (above)
Rust needing to be dealt with (below)
Maple Grove NSS Report
By: Dave Schultz ~ June 8, 2010
The Schultz family left on Wednesday, June 2nd at 9:30 AM and arrived at the track at 7PM Thursday. We spent the night in the staging area outside the track. We bought the Vitamin C (63 Savoy) in a single trailer — as the black 65 Coronet that Dallas was going to campaign still won't run — and we'd run out of time.
The gates opened at about 10AM, and we quickly got set up, established driver credentials, and tech'd the car in. At 3PM they opened the track to Time Trials. On my first and only TT pass — the car did a 11.170 with the same 160 pounds that was bolted in from Bowling Green. The car was running the number at Bowling Green — but the air was horrible (about 4500') at Maple Grove. Both Doug Duell and Barry Camp moved up to C/FX as their cars couldn't do a B/FX number. Many of the cars bumped to one slower number. Worse yet for me was that the car was leaking water badly as I returned to the pits.
The water was coming from the left side of the block — which put a lump in my throat. Closer inspection found it was coming from the left center steel freeze plug of the 413's block. We drained the coolant and filled the plug with blue Permatex –as that's all we could find. We were hosed for any more TT and the first round of qualifying was to start at 7PM. We did unbolt 80 pounds from the left side (I'm a "Full-Figured" guy so we were heavy on the left side as it was).
When they called NMC (NSS Generally follows next) to the lanes, we filled the radiator with water — and it leaked just as bad. I made the quick decision that I needed to be counted as being there (after 3200 miles travel to/from the race) and that I should be counted Friday night — as there was a 40% chance of rain Saturday and Sunday. I drained the water, started the car cold and coasted to the top of the lanes. I waited towards the end of NSS to let the car be as cold as possible and then coasted downhill to the burnout box and started the car up there. I did a quick and light burnout, made an easy 11.09 pass, and it shut down at the top. Dallas towed me back to the pits in Barry Camp's (who is dogging me for $100 to use it) ATC. The car is an iron head car and I felt sure I didn't hurt anything as the car was stone cold when I did the burnout, and the temp gauge (albeit there was no water to measure) didn't exceed 200 degrees. The .09 had me 9 of 17 cars.
Kurt Neighbor had some emery paper, and "Mr. 4-Speed" Marty had some JB Weld. Dallas sanded the inside of the freeze plug and found a pinhole right at the edge of the sides and bottom, and pushed in some JB into it, then a thick smear in that area of the plug — before putting the car away for the night. Andy Warren and his father tried to find a rubber adjustable plug on the way to the motel — but all auto parts stores were closed.
In the morning we pushed the car out of the trailer and filled with water while crossing fingers. No Leak. Dallas took the car for its morning warm up and got the water to 170 before returning — no leaks. I borrowed a 6 pound cap from Fred Rager. Two hours later (all of which I spent in a lawn chair staring at the ground under the engine) we were called to the line for Q2 — still no leaks. I did a 11.05 — which had me in 8th of 17. No leaks when I returned to the pits from Q2. The 3rd Qualifying occurred at about 7PM Saturday — and I managed a 11.02, putting me 8th of 17.
On the above Qualifying, Kurt and Barry swapped — with Barry being the actual top qualifier on the sheet revised in the AM. Barry had his .003 first, but the computer initially put Kurt in the Top position for a faster MPH. MPH doesn't count in NSS — the first with the same low number does. In the First Round of Eliminations.
I was paired with Scott Griffith for the first round, and he couldn't make the call — so I got the BYE. Still no leak!
Doug Duell won over "Mr. 4-Speed" Marty
Rager over the "Princess of Speed"
Bates over DiMino Sr.
Scotty Jiles over DiMino Jr.
Kurt over his bud Skippy
Poskovitch over Louis Popp (don't know him) in a red black Coronet
Gary Beemer over Hoblick
Barry Camp with the bye
In the second round:
Schultz over Jiles
Poskovitch over Duell
Bates over Camp
Rager over Beemer
Neighbors had the Bye
In the third round, the winner of Bates and I would get a Bye to the final. I choked! For the entire event I had very good RTs (.070 the worse) — but I red lit (first time in this car, and first time in almost a year) after staging too deep. I had been staging deep because this car reacts slower than my 4-speed car — and I want to leave at the same time on the lights as I normally do. The "All Ford" Semis had Neighbor over Posovitch and Bates with the Bye.
Neighbors' Mercury took the win over Bate's 67 Failaine.
This race had a very light turnout for all classes. Despite 422 again scheduling an event the same time NMCA is in the area (many say this isn't an accident – but I'm so far away from the NE that it doesn't affect me) NSS and OC were the only two classes to come up with more than ten cars. Speculation in the pits reasoned that the track is too long of a haul for most; the forecasted weather (although we were only down for a couple of hours — a recent NMCA record) had many stay home; the combination of Bradenton going to Monday, Bowling Green cancelled (along with the forecast) have many throwing in the towel for 2010; or that the first four races mean nothing for the points chase — or a combination or two/more.
For NSS, Chicago is scheduled the same time as the Chrysler Classics — so you can expect even fewer Mopars. Then one of Schneider's races (Cordova?) is scheduled the same time as Milan — and last year that siphoned off quite a few Mopars. NSS is getting to be a Ford thing with NMCA lately. We (Mopar guys) were outnumbered again this race.
This race report is obviously through my eyes. I am more than willing to post any of the reports of others on a Nostalgia Drag Racing class. The best thing to do it to document the chain of events to the race on the appropriate forum by creating a new thread like I did in the NSS Forum: http://nostalgiadragracers.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=nss&action=display&thread=188 that anyone can post to — and then post a summary after event has ended. I'll then cut and paste it to the Nostalgia Drag Racers site.
Click this link http://nostalgiadragracers.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=nss&action=display&thread=188&page=1 to check on the track updates.
When he was elected on November 11, 2008, I thought “America is Doomed” but wait….
He destroyed the Clinton Political Machine – Driving a stake thru the Heart of Hillary’s Presidential aspirations–something no Republican was ever able to do. Remember when a Hillary Presidency scared the daylights out of you!
He killed off the Kennedy Dynasty – No more Kennedys trolling Washington looking for booze and women wanting rides home. American women and freedom are safer tonight!
He is destroying the Democratic Party before our eyes!
Dennis Moore had never lost a race – quit
Evan Bayh had never lost a race – quit
Byron Dorgan – had never lost a race – quit
Harry Reid – bid for re-election doesn’t look good
These are just a handful of the Democrats whose political careers Obama has destroyed! By the end of 2010 dozens more will be history!
In December of 2008 the Democrats were on the rise. In the last two election cycles they had picked up 14 senate seats and 52 house seats.
The press was touting the death of the Conservative Movement and the Republican Party.
In just one year Obama put a stop to all of this and will probably give the house, if not the senate back to the Republicans.
He has completely exposed liberals and progressives for what they are.
Every generation seems to need to relearn the lesson on why they should never actually put liberals in charge.
He is bringing home the lesson very well!
Liberals tax, borrow and spend – check
Liberals won’t bring themselves to protect America – check
Liberals want to take over the economy – check
Liberals think they know what is best for everyone – check
Liberals aren’t happy till they are running YOUR life – check
He has brought more Americans back to conservatism than anyone since Reagan.
In one year he rejuvenated the Conservative Movement and brought out to the streets millions of Freedom Loving Americans.
Name me one other time in your life that you saw your friends and neighbors this interested in taking back America!
In all honesty one year ago I was more afraid than I had ever been in my life. Not of the economy, but of the direction our country was going. I thought Americans had forgotten what this country was all about. My neighbors, friends, strangers proved to me that my lack of confidence of the greatness and wisdom of the American people was flat out wrong.
When the American People wake up, no smooth talking teleprompter reader can fool them!
Obama woke up these Great Americans.
Again I want say Thank you Obama!
So, Lets Recap “2009”………what a year! WOW!!!
1. The American people inaugurate a half-Arab/African president with a total of 142 days experience as a US Senator from the most notoriously politically corrupt city/state in America whose governors have been ousted from office. The President’s first official act is to order the close of Gitmo and make sure terrorist’s civil rights are not violated. (Honest mistake?)
2. The U.S. Congress rushes to confirm a black Attorney General, Eric Holder, whose law firm we later find out represents seventeen Gitmo Terrorists. (An honest mistake?)
3. The CIA Boss appointee, Leon Panetta, has absolutely NO experience.
4. We got the second most corrupt American woman (Pelosi is #1) as Secretary of State; bought and paid for. (You can put lipstick on a pig, but it still stinks!)
5. We got a Tax Cheat for Treasury Secretary who did not properly file his own taxes for 12 years. (He misspoke!)
6. A Commerce Secretary nominee (Bill Richardson) who withdrew due to corruption charges. (Another honest mistake???)
7. A Tax cheat nominee for Chief Performance Officer who withdrew under charges. (Hmmm … yet another screw-up?)
8. A Labor Secretary nominee who withdrew under charges of unethical conduct. (Ok, maybe this person was just plain stupid.)
9. A Secretary HHS nominee (Daschle) who withdrew under charges of cheating on his taxes. (I’m running out of excuses for these idiots!!)
10. A Homeland Security nominee (Napolatono) who as Governor of AZ refused to help protect the border and did everything she could to encourage illegal immigration while increasing spending the state into a $6 Billion debt. (A mistake for sure because her successor, Jan Brewer, is a Law&Order Republican and was a timely gift to AZ)
11. Multiple appointments of former lobbyists after an absolute campaign statement that no lobbyists would be appointed. (I am getting a headache!)
All this occurred just during the first few weeks. . . But who’s counting?
America is being run by the modern-day Three Stooges; Barry, Nancy and Harry, and they are still trying to define stimulus…”it’s spending!!!”
The congress passes the $800,000,000,000 (that’s $800 billion) pork-loaded spending bill where the government gives you a smidgen of your tax dollars ($13 per week), making you feel so good about yourself [stimulated], that you want to run out to Wal-Mart and buy a new Chinese-made HDTV!
Only with the Liberals…Pray for our country.
Here’s the good news though – Obama took Air Force One to Denver to sign the stimulus package, wasting as much as 10,000 gallons of fuel OR 24 JOBS FOR ONE YEAR.
Don’t you just love hypocrites?
Obama went to the International Olympic Committee to have them choose Chicago for a host city, he failed.
Obama went to Copenhagen to lecture them on global warming, he failed.
Obama went to New Jersey to promote the Democratic candidate for governor, he failed.
Obama went to Virginia to promote the Democratic candidate for governor, he failed.
Obama went to Massachusetts to promote the Democratic candidate for senator, he failed.
Obama went to Pennsylvania to promote the Democratic candidate for senator, he failed.
He is the first president not to attend the Army/Navy football game in the past 80 years.
Obama is the 1st president in history who did not attend any Christmas religious service . . . He must miss Reverend Wright!
And finally, he is the 1st president to remain on vacation after a terrorist attack.
In these times ‘I’ll keep my God, my freedom, my gun and my money. Anyone that supports this insanity can keep “THE CHANGE”.
2009 Limited Edition Dodge Challenger Factory Drag Pak Car
It’s 1968 all over again..Mopar brings back a legend…!
The Challenger Drag Pak is the first drag-race, factory prepped package car built in over 40 years by Mopar and builds on the heritage of the limited edition 1968 HEMI powered Dodge Darts and Plymouth Barracudas.
This competitive package car is the most effective way to begin an NHRA Stock or Super Stock program. At a minimum, Drag Pak vehicle kits require rear axle, rear suspension, driveline, driveline safety equipment, wiring, fuel cell, safety cage/ roll bars, fire system, safety harness and other additions to be considered competition ready.
Only 100 of these were made for 2009 – This is #42
The Drag Pak was developed by Mopar Performance and approved by NHRA for stock class drag racing. For exact details on how the vehicle should be configured, please refer to your sanctioning body rulebook.
Package cars are not sold as a running driving vehicle, and are not supplied with a VIN number and are not to be titled or street driven.
Due to the specialized nature of the drag vehicle implied warranties of merchantability, are excluded.
Identification Plate with Unique Serial Number Sequence
Primed and painted body
6.1 L Hemi Engine (forged steel crankshaft and rods, forged 12:1 cr pistons, Hydraulic roller cam, .584 valve lift w/1.6 ration rocker arm,Special high ram EFI intake manifold w/4bbl throttle body)
Special BIW modified for drag racing (Approx. 1,000lbs lighter than production)
No windshield wiper assembly
No HVAC system (includes block off plates)
No rear seats
No power steering system
No under-body heat shields
No fuel tank assembly
No exhaust system
Composite liftoff hood with functional scoop
Modified tunnel for transmission clearance and one piece drive shaft
Raised floor above differential for solid axle conversion clearance
Polycarbonate door windows
Smart Glass door window system
Solid engine mounts
Engine repositioned, 19mm right offset and and 75mm rearward
Seats to accommodate 6 point harness
Wheelbase Shortened 13mm. (rear axle moved forward)
Special modified K-member with drop out cross member
Lightweight drag race only front brake assembly
Manual rack and pinion steering
Front chin spoiler
Lightweight cooling module with electric fan
Lightweight instrument panel assembly
Special cable operated deck release
Special cable operated throttle pedal and linkage
Ships with transport axle and wheels
If you go to http://www.daveschultz.com/web-designs/wordpress/ I offer Four Options for you to have a Quick, Cheap, and Professional web site that just about anyone who can post on Facebook can maintain just as easily.
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38 Years Ago
In the early 70s was the youngest in the Air Force for a couple of weeks. I'd just turned 17 a couple of weeks earlier. There aren't many photos from back then, but I just found these.
That's me sitting on the sofa arm in Basic Training (1972) a few weeks after turning 17
Home on leave in 1973 at the ripe old age of 18
I was a VIP Driver in 1974
I'm Service Connected Disabled — My VA Card from the 70s
Well Willie Nelson cut off his braid, and I said I wouldn’t cut my hair until he cut his first. So Today my daughter Danielle gave me a haircut.
I was watching the NHRA race at Heartland on Sunday, when this happened in Top Fuel Funny Car during the Semis.
1972 Dodge Demon – 10-Second NMC Legal
The Dodge Demon my son ran in NMC is up for sale on eBay. Quality built car needing nothing. Take to the track today and win. Click here for the eBay auction.